..that is where our infertility journey is right now;"on hold". While I would have LOVED to continue with this month we decided it would be best if we saved up alittle money and then continue. At first I was having alittle problem with this. I thought that taking a month off would kill me! I don't want to wait any longer--I have already waited 2 years! I was really upset when M talked to me about waiting. I didn't understand why we had to wait(I know it was for money but I didn't want to think anything but trying this month.) I am so worried that the longer we wait, the less chance of me getting pregnant would ring true. After talking with M I felt that better with waiting. I about died when I had to cancel my appointment for my baseline ultrasound;I'm not gonna lie! When the receptionist asked me "do you want to reschedule?"-I shook my head yes(I was on the phone) and said "no just cancel thank you".
I have actually had a lot of peace this month. I haven't looked to see when ovulation would be--I'm just enjoying having my husband back! :) He is finally done with paramedic school and for the first time in nearly 9 months we are eating dinners together!(its the little things right now!). My schedule has changed to me doing day shift so I am home for dinners! We had the best weekend last weekend(yes 2 whole days together!) All we did was go grocery shopping,re-arranged the living room furniture,just little things around the house! I cant believe how fast this month is going by!
My birthday is in 2 weeks and that totally freaks me out! I will be...26! eek!! That's scary! I am getting older and no babies! :( It just hurts alittle more each year getting older and no children! :(
I'm hoping that we are going to do next month (July)--but I'm ok with waiting too(<--weird I just typed that and was actually OK!) :) I guess God really has listened to my prayers for peace and patients for these next few months!
Tristan I know waiting can feel like an eternity BUT it will ALL work out in the end!! I know NONE of this is easy, but remember it is in the valleys that we grow and one day you will look back on this journey and thank the Lord for this trial. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS REDICULOUS NOW BUT I PROMISE IT WON'T LATER! Use this break to draw close to M. and God. And until that day comes when things get easier know that William and I are ALWAYS here for BOTH of you!
ReplyDeleteWe Love You Guys!!
I know that waiting is just a pain and it just plain sucks. But just try to enjoy the time off with your hubby and just have fun together.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW! #45
Being on a break is super tough, but it sounds like you're making the best of it.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best!
ICLW
I'm sorry about the break - I know its tough, but I hope you can enjoy the time off with your hubby.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW week!
Hello From one Paramedic's wife to another!!
ReplyDeleteDH and I took a few breaks during our treatments and I always felt while it was hard at first it put us in a much better mind frame!!
I will warn you TTC with a paramedic's schedule can be hard, but it can be done!!
Happy ICLW
#96
Happy ICLW and thanks for stopping by my blog =) I'm sorry you're on a break. I know how difficult it is...but I hope you're enjoying the time with your husband! Can't wait for your updates when you start cycling again!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm here from ICLW. First off, I'm so sorry for you loss. I know how hard infertility and miscarriage are.
ReplyDeleteWe are kind of on hold right now too. I say kind of because we did have sex around ovulation, but this is an unmedicated cycle as we are switching to a new RE. Also my birthday is coming up, I totally get the disappointment of another birthday without a pregnancy or baby. :(
I hope that you get a BFP soon. Enjoy this time with your husband! I love that you are living in the moment and having fun with the little things.
It is hard to take a break, but I do think it brings clarity and peace. Best wishes on your journey!
ReplyDeleteICLW #128