Its starting!! :) Yes thats right-I have a new cycle coming up! I started my provera 2 days ago! :) Im SOOO excited! I cannot wait to get this one going. I recently changed insurances and this new one is going to pay for the MEDS!! Yes you heard that right! :) My last IUI cycle cost us $2500! This one will never reach over $1000(I hope!)
I am making a promise today that when I start this new cycle I WILL post more! I LOVE reading everyones blog and sometimes I feel alittle intimated to comment! I don't really know why I feel this way--maybe they will think "who is this chick commenting on my post"?! I love the fact there is this 'comminity' for us infertiles but sometimes Im alittle 'shy'(if thats even possible with everyone behind a computer screen?!) I LOVE comments and encouragement but I don't know how to get my blog 'outthere'<--wherever "there" is! Lol. Anybody else feel like this?! HELP! :)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
22...
Ok--I know I have been MIA but SO much has been going on--that I don't even know where to start!
So the last time I blogged, I just finished my first IUI cycle. Holy roller coaster that was! It totally drained us mentally,financially and physically(I gained 10lbs from that cycle-ugh!)...any hoot--since then I have been loving spending my days/nights at my friends house who just had triplet boys on August 17th! :) Talk about holy roller of emotions. I was SOO thrilled to be able to be there when she delivered(I work at the hospital on the mother/baby unit--I know shoot me now-lol). It was such an awesome experience to be able to stand outside the OR doors and listen to not 1 but 3 babies crying! I have never heard anything so beautiful! :) We were all so excited waiting for them to come out! Baby C( Jacob) had to be sent to the NICU-only to return within 27hours of being delivered! YAY!! Baby A(Drake) was 4lb 7oz...Baby B(Ross) was 5lb.0.5oz...Baby C(Jacob) was 4lb 8oz. Talk about the cutest babies I have ever seen! O I could have loved on them all day long! :) I have been spending all my nights that my husband works(he's a firefighter and works 24hour shifts) with them and let me tell you--I'm ready for multiples! :) I have been peed on,pooped on,spit up on-you name it I have probably had it on not 1,but 2 or 3 shirts of mine! LOL
I think I need to explain how my friend and I became friends because I think it is so special! Her husband and mine grew up together in the church. So they basically grew up together--they lost touch after they all went their separate ways because that church went to poops. Anyways, years later we still live like 20 minutes from each other. Well I was telling my friend S about the problems I was having with infertility and was complaining/moaning--you know the usual,Why Me?-blah,blah...and she suggest I talk to this girl she knows S(also named S). I was very worried at what S would think of a random stranger asking how she got pregnant and how this whole infertility thing works(I had no clue about this whole world of infertility--I seriously thought I was the only one with this problem!) Well 1 message on face.book led to another and we decided that since our DH's haven't seen each other in awhile that we should have dinner--we met at a local restaurant and the rest is history! We have become so close and I can't think of any other reason to explain our friendship but fate! Seriously we all just "click". They are so fun to be around.
I think one of the things that means the most to me is the fact they don't realize how much they are helping ME! I know that sounds crazy-I'm suppose to be helping them with 4 boys under 2 years of age,but in fact they are helping me cope with the fact that I'm not a mom yet. I know I am DYING to be a mother and hopefully one day my dream will come true! But no matter how many times I drive home only to cry myself to sleep or cry all the way home because I long for that love and those words"mommy" to be uttered,I know I love those babies and am enjoying every.minute.of taking care of them! Everyone says "Hey mommy Tristan" when I walk through because I treat them as my own! I love those boys SO much and am SO grateful to have S and W in my life--I don't think they will ever really understand how much they have helped me!
Ok--enough with the tears--lets get on with the reason for the title of this post...22..
22 marks 22 days until I get to start my next medicated IUI cycle!!! eeeeek! :) I couldn't be more happier! We realized that come October I had my 'open enrollement' for insurance at my job--only to really realize that the lesser of the 2 insurance plans my hospital offers actually pays for the IUI meds!! again...EEEEEEK! :)
SO--come Oct 1st (exactly 22days) I will officially be able to start my cycle.--please start praying now! :)
**On another note--I have been dealing with some sadness lately. I just want to know when the bitter/sad/hurt-ness goes away when someone close to you tells you they are pregnant?!Any and all advice/comments/feelings are welcome!!! I really hate the fact that infertility has turned me completely bitter/sour/mad ect. I don't want to have to put on a brave face every time someone tells me they are pregnant.
~Reason I bring this up is DH's best friend has been married for a year less then us and just announced that they are 12weeks pregnant. Total shot to the heart! Every single friend DH grew up with has had a baby except for him! I totally feel guilty like its my fault he isn't a dad! :( Ugh-I hate feeling like this!
Ok-end rant!! If you are still with me,you are the best! I'm sorry this was just a mess of a blog but I just had to get some stuff off of my chest and what better way than to announce we are starting another cycle! :)
So the last time I blogged, I just finished my first IUI cycle. Holy roller coaster that was! It totally drained us mentally,financially and physically(I gained 10lbs from that cycle-ugh!)...any hoot--since then I have been loving spending my days/nights at my friends house who just had triplet boys on August 17th! :) Talk about holy roller of emotions. I was SOO thrilled to be able to be there when she delivered(I work at the hospital on the mother/baby unit--I know shoot me now-lol). It was such an awesome experience to be able to stand outside the OR doors and listen to not 1 but 3 babies crying! I have never heard anything so beautiful! :) We were all so excited waiting for them to come out! Baby C( Jacob) had to be sent to the NICU-only to return within 27hours of being delivered! YAY!! Baby A(Drake) was 4lb 7oz...Baby B(Ross) was 5lb.0.5oz...Baby C(Jacob) was 4lb 8oz. Talk about the cutest babies I have ever seen! O I could have loved on them all day long! :) I have been spending all my nights that my husband works(he's a firefighter and works 24hour shifts) with them and let me tell you--I'm ready for multiples! :) I have been peed on,pooped on,spit up on-you name it I have probably had it on not 1,but 2 or 3 shirts of mine! LOL
I think I need to explain how my friend and I became friends because I think it is so special! Her husband and mine grew up together in the church. So they basically grew up together--they lost touch after they all went their separate ways because that church went to poops. Anyways, years later we still live like 20 minutes from each other. Well I was telling my friend S about the problems I was having with infertility and was complaining/moaning--you know the usual,Why Me?-blah,blah...and she suggest I talk to this girl she knows S(also named S). I was very worried at what S would think of a random stranger asking how she got pregnant and how this whole infertility thing works(I had no clue about this whole world of infertility--I seriously thought I was the only one with this problem!) Well 1 message on face.book led to another and we decided that since our DH's haven't seen each other in awhile that we should have dinner--we met at a local restaurant and the rest is history! We have become so close and I can't think of any other reason to explain our friendship but fate! Seriously we all just "click". They are so fun to be around.
I think one of the things that means the most to me is the fact they don't realize how much they are helping ME! I know that sounds crazy-I'm suppose to be helping them with 4 boys under 2 years of age,but in fact they are helping me cope with the fact that I'm not a mom yet. I know I am DYING to be a mother and hopefully one day my dream will come true! But no matter how many times I drive home only to cry myself to sleep or cry all the way home because I long for that love and those words"mommy" to be uttered,I know I love those babies and am enjoying every.minute.of taking care of them! Everyone says "Hey mommy Tristan" when I walk through because I treat them as my own! I love those boys SO much and am SO grateful to have S and W in my life--I don't think they will ever really understand how much they have helped me!
Ok--enough with the tears--lets get on with the reason for the title of this post...22..
22 marks 22 days until I get to start my next medicated IUI cycle!!! eeeeek! :) I couldn't be more happier! We realized that come October I had my 'open enrollement' for insurance at my job--only to really realize that the lesser of the 2 insurance plans my hospital offers actually pays for the IUI meds!! again...EEEEEEK! :)
SO--come Oct 1st (exactly 22days) I will officially be able to start my cycle.--please start praying now! :)
**On another note--I have been dealing with some sadness lately. I just want to know when the bitter/sad/hurt-ness goes away when someone close to you tells you they are pregnant?!Any and all advice/comments/feelings are welcome!!! I really hate the fact that infertility has turned me completely bitter/sour/mad ect. I don't want to have to put on a brave face every time someone tells me they are pregnant.
~Reason I bring this up is DH's best friend has been married for a year less then us and just announced that they are 12weeks pregnant. Total shot to the heart! Every single friend DH grew up with has had a baby except for him! I totally feel guilty like its my fault he isn't a dad! :( Ugh-I hate feeling like this!
Ok-end rant!! If you are still with me,you are the best! I'm sorry this was just a mess of a blog but I just had to get some stuff off of my chest and what better way than to announce we are starting another cycle! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)