Holy moly--today is trigger day!! OMG--I can't believe this cycle is going by SO fast! My last cycle I did almost 15days of shots(follistem) and this cycle I have only done 7! Im a week ahead of last cycle--hopefully that means something because last cycle didn't work! :( I PRAY this one works and Im so nervous for this IUI. I am almost to the point that I don't want to test so someone can't tell me that im NOT pregnant. It kills me everytime I see that "not pregnant" on the pee stick. Total shot to the heart :(
So today I got my bloodwork drawn and my E2 was 1678!! I also had my ultrasound and my left ovary is rockin it! I have a 17mm,15.5mm and 14mm! O please let one of these be my future baby?! :) the nurse called today and confirmed that they would trigger me today at 5pm! My IUI will be sunday morning at 8:30am. I have to go to work afterwards! :( NOT excited about that at all-but I only work until 3pm --so I guess I can go into work for 4 hours! : /
*please keep me in your prayers and I will update on sunday how the IUI went! :)
Friday, October 14, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Results..
This morning I had my first E2 draw--results came back at 282! WHOA mama!! As I look back at my last cycle here my first estradiol draw was 81! Huge difference! This cycle is totally different! I don't really know what to expect--my expectations are set high and and hoping/praying that this is MY month! I will do another list view of this cycle to compare--because again lets face it,im def OCD when it comes to my "cycles".
**On a VERY happy side note, I went to the pharmacy friday to pick up my other 600unit follistem and the pharmacy said that it was 'covered' and that I didn't have to pay anything....ajjnfkajbjbakjfnajksgakg!!!! EEK! :) Can you believe it?! I wasn't stopping to ask questions I said "ok-thank you very much! Have a blessed day!" ;) And off I went with my FREE liquid gold!! How freaking lucky can you get?! I know all you ladies out there that have paid a bagillion(yes that is a word...in my book!) dollars for follistem,totally understand the total shock and excitement in my fingers as Im typing this! :)
**On a VERY happy side note, I went to the pharmacy friday to pick up my other 600unit follistem and the pharmacy said that it was 'covered' and that I didn't have to pay anything....ajjnfkajbjbakjfnajksgakg!!!! EEK! :) Can you believe it?! I wasn't stopping to ask questions I said "ok-thank you very much! Have a blessed day!" ;) And off I went with my FREE liquid gold!! How freaking lucky can you get?! I know all you ladies out there that have paid a bagillion(yes that is a word...in my book!) dollars for follistem,totally understand the total shock and excitement in my fingers as Im typing this! :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Reminders...
So today I hit huge, alittle bump in the road today when trying to fill my meds at the pharmacy. It closed at 7pm,my doctors office closes at 5pm. I was at the pharmacy at 3:30pm--and of course it hits the fan an hr and a half before they close. Seriously?! If something bad happens it ALWAYS happens to me and when my hubby is gone. He went camping this week...left sunday and won't be back until thursday night. I am SO lost without him when it comes to financial/business/freakouts situations. He's my rock and can calm me down within a matter of seconds!
Anyways--so I go to pick up my meds(my first shot is tonight..holy cow I hate doing them by myself! yikes-pray for me!) and the pharmicist says "ok that will be $687.32".....alksdhfroajnajksdfnakljhsgjnajsenfjnajean<---that is all I was thinking at that moment! OR in Josey's words...HFS! :) I immediately gave her a look like.."Are you talking to me?!" <insert-turning of head and total finger point to the chest> She again said "Yes,that will be $687.32"--now my eyes are the size of freaking softballs! **my insurance should be covering these meds**...SO then she says that I need a prior authorization and that could take up to 3 days.....HFS again--I have to start these meds in like 4hours lady! O if looks could kill--she would be 30 feet under. She said I had to call my *doctor* to get him to call the insurance company(yeah right lady--what dr do you know that will call an insurance company,I mean really?)..and tell them I need this med. She says calmly.."I guess your doctor didn't know you were taking this med".....ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??--every damn nurse in that office knows every women on a cycle you retard--my head is spinning at this point!! I call my DR's office and they said that they have never had to give a prior auth and that they shouldn't have to do one. GREAT--again if something can go bad it happens to me! Like seriously I work for the hospital that the pharmacy is in--I have my work insurance and the DR's office I use is a satellite office for the hospital I work for!!! HELLO PEOPLE LETS GET IT TOGETHER!! SO--to sum it up--DR's office calls me back and says that I have to pay for it first and then the insurance company will reimburse..a.k.a.---pay and then never see that money again!! So I told her I was NOT made of money and that I would only pay for 1 cartridge of follistem and that they better make sure that authorization comes in soon because that 1 cartridge is only going to last me 4 days TOPS!
**ok rant over!! :)
Now to more important things like...my baseline ultrasound appointment!! :)
In one ovary I have 14 follies and the other I have 9...I say one and the other because the resident mixed up my ovaries and was pushing so freaking hard that I couldn't remember which is which--thanks! They are starting me on 100units for the next 4 days and then I go in on sunday for my estradiol to be checked! :) YAY for getting up early for no reason! :) lol.
**next part of my blog was to say that this one post on Tiffany's blog has been on my mind and I can totally relate to it. I posted on fb that "being infertile sucks"--whoa talk about getting traffic on my page! I love Tiffany's post about everything a "fertile" person says. I get told alot and I guess I was having a pitty party and just needed a reminder that Im not the only one dealing with this and that I just need to turn to my blogger friends who truly understand where Im coming from and the hurt/pain/sense of being less of a women that I feel!
If you are still here at the end of this you freaking rock and I love you :)
Anyways--so I go to pick up my meds(my first shot is tonight..holy cow I hate doing them by myself! yikes-pray for me!) and the pharmicist says "ok that will be $687.32".....alksdhfroajnajksdfnakljhsgjnajsenfjnajean<---that is all I was thinking at that moment! OR in Josey's words...HFS! :) I immediately gave her a look like.."Are you talking to me?!" <insert-turning of head and total finger point to the chest> She again said "Yes,that will be $687.32"--now my eyes are the size of freaking softballs! **my insurance should be covering these meds**...SO then she says that I need a prior authorization and that could take up to 3 days.....HFS again--I have to start these meds in like 4hours lady! O if looks could kill--she would be 30 feet under. She said I had to call my *doctor* to get him to call the insurance company(yeah right lady--what dr do you know that will call an insurance company,I mean really?)..and tell them I need this med. She says calmly.."I guess your doctor didn't know you were taking this med".....ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??--every damn nurse in that office knows every women on a cycle you retard--my head is spinning at this point!! I call my DR's office and they said that they have never had to give a prior auth and that they shouldn't have to do one. GREAT--again if something can go bad it happens to me! Like seriously I work for the hospital that the pharmacy is in--I have my work insurance and the DR's office I use is a satellite office for the hospital I work for!!! HELLO PEOPLE LETS GET IT TOGETHER!! SO--to sum it up--DR's office calls me back and says that I have to pay for it first and then the insurance company will reimburse..a.k.a.---pay and then never see that money again!! So I told her I was NOT made of money and that I would only pay for 1 cartridge of follistem and that they better make sure that authorization comes in soon because that 1 cartridge is only going to last me 4 days TOPS!
**ok rant over!! :)
Now to more important things like...my baseline ultrasound appointment!! :)
In one ovary I have 14 follies and the other I have 9...I say one and the other because the resident mixed up my ovaries and was pushing so freaking hard that I couldn't remember which is which--thanks! They are starting me on 100units for the next 4 days and then I go in on sunday for my estradiol to be checked! :) YAY for getting up early for no reason! :) lol.
**next part of my blog was to say that this one post on Tiffany's blog has been on my mind and I can totally relate to it. I posted on fb that "being infertile sucks"--whoa talk about getting traffic on my page! I love Tiffany's post about everything a "fertile" person says. I get told alot and I guess I was having a pitty party and just needed a reminder that Im not the only one dealing with this and that I just need to turn to my blogger friends who truly understand where Im coming from and the hurt/pain/sense of being less of a women that I feel!
If you are still here at the end of this you freaking rock and I love you :)
Monday, October 3, 2011
Here goes nothing!!
Its starting!! :) AF made her wonderful appearance today--actually took me by surprise,I wasn't even finished with my provera and there she was! LOL--It normally takes 2-3 days AFTER I stop provera to make AF show up! CRAZY!
So I called my Dr's office today and I go in on wed for my baseline ultrasound! :) YAY--I really can't believe its happening again! The last time I did a cycle was in May!! Needless to say I am DYING to get this cycle started! I am excited yet still nervous;I have such high hopes and I don't want to be crushed again. I am EXTREMELY scared this one won't work either! I want to go into this cycle excited,not scared! I want to enjoy them as I only have 3 left. (well 2 if you don't include this one im startng in 2DAYS--eeek!) ;) <--can you tell I'm just alittle excited!
Wish me luck!! :)
So I called my Dr's office today and I go in on wed for my baseline ultrasound! :) YAY--I really can't believe its happening again! The last time I did a cycle was in May!! Needless to say I am DYING to get this cycle started! I am excited yet still nervous;I have such high hopes and I don't want to be crushed again. I am EXTREMELY scared this one won't work either! I want to go into this cycle excited,not scared! I want to enjoy them as I only have 3 left. (well 2 if you don't include this one im startng in 2DAYS--eeek!) ;) <--can you tell I'm just alittle excited!
Wish me luck!! :)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The start!
Its starting!! :) Yes thats right-I have a new cycle coming up! I started my provera 2 days ago! :) Im SOOO excited! I cannot wait to get this one going. I recently changed insurances and this new one is going to pay for the MEDS!! Yes you heard that right! :) My last IUI cycle cost us $2500! This one will never reach over $1000(I hope!)
I am making a promise today that when I start this new cycle I WILL post more! I LOVE reading everyones blog and sometimes I feel alittle intimated to comment! I don't really know why I feel this way--maybe they will think "who is this chick commenting on my post"?! I love the fact there is this 'comminity' for us infertiles but sometimes Im alittle 'shy'(if thats even possible with everyone behind a computer screen?!) I LOVE comments and encouragement but I don't know how to get my blog 'outthere'<--wherever "there" is! Lol. Anybody else feel like this?! HELP! :)
I am making a promise today that when I start this new cycle I WILL post more! I LOVE reading everyones blog and sometimes I feel alittle intimated to comment! I don't really know why I feel this way--maybe they will think "who is this chick commenting on my post"?! I love the fact there is this 'comminity' for us infertiles but sometimes Im alittle 'shy'(if thats even possible with everyone behind a computer screen?!) I LOVE comments and encouragement but I don't know how to get my blog 'outthere'<--wherever "there" is! Lol. Anybody else feel like this?! HELP! :)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
22...
Ok--I know I have been MIA but SO much has been going on--that I don't even know where to start!
So the last time I blogged, I just finished my first IUI cycle. Holy roller coaster that was! It totally drained us mentally,financially and physically(I gained 10lbs from that cycle-ugh!)...any hoot--since then I have been loving spending my days/nights at my friends house who just had triplet boys on August 17th! :) Talk about holy roller of emotions. I was SOO thrilled to be able to be there when she delivered(I work at the hospital on the mother/baby unit--I know shoot me now-lol). It was such an awesome experience to be able to stand outside the OR doors and listen to not 1 but 3 babies crying! I have never heard anything so beautiful! :) We were all so excited waiting for them to come out! Baby C( Jacob) had to be sent to the NICU-only to return within 27hours of being delivered! YAY!! Baby A(Drake) was 4lb 7oz...Baby B(Ross) was 5lb.0.5oz...Baby C(Jacob) was 4lb 8oz. Talk about the cutest babies I have ever seen! O I could have loved on them all day long! :) I have been spending all my nights that my husband works(he's a firefighter and works 24hour shifts) with them and let me tell you--I'm ready for multiples! :) I have been peed on,pooped on,spit up on-you name it I have probably had it on not 1,but 2 or 3 shirts of mine! LOL
I think I need to explain how my friend and I became friends because I think it is so special! Her husband and mine grew up together in the church. So they basically grew up together--they lost touch after they all went their separate ways because that church went to poops. Anyways, years later we still live like 20 minutes from each other. Well I was telling my friend S about the problems I was having with infertility and was complaining/moaning--you know the usual,Why Me?-blah,blah...and she suggest I talk to this girl she knows S(also named S). I was very worried at what S would think of a random stranger asking how she got pregnant and how this whole infertility thing works(I had no clue about this whole world of infertility--I seriously thought I was the only one with this problem!) Well 1 message on face.book led to another and we decided that since our DH's haven't seen each other in awhile that we should have dinner--we met at a local restaurant and the rest is history! We have become so close and I can't think of any other reason to explain our friendship but fate! Seriously we all just "click". They are so fun to be around.
I think one of the things that means the most to me is the fact they don't realize how much they are helping ME! I know that sounds crazy-I'm suppose to be helping them with 4 boys under 2 years of age,but in fact they are helping me cope with the fact that I'm not a mom yet. I know I am DYING to be a mother and hopefully one day my dream will come true! But no matter how many times I drive home only to cry myself to sleep or cry all the way home because I long for that love and those words"mommy" to be uttered,I know I love those babies and am enjoying every.minute.of taking care of them! Everyone says "Hey mommy Tristan" when I walk through because I treat them as my own! I love those boys SO much and am SO grateful to have S and W in my life--I don't think they will ever really understand how much they have helped me!
Ok--enough with the tears--lets get on with the reason for the title of this post...22..
22 marks 22 days until I get to start my next medicated IUI cycle!!! eeeeek! :) I couldn't be more happier! We realized that come October I had my 'open enrollement' for insurance at my job--only to really realize that the lesser of the 2 insurance plans my hospital offers actually pays for the IUI meds!! again...EEEEEEK! :)
SO--come Oct 1st (exactly 22days) I will officially be able to start my cycle.--please start praying now! :)
**On another note--I have been dealing with some sadness lately. I just want to know when the bitter/sad/hurt-ness goes away when someone close to you tells you they are pregnant?!Any and all advice/comments/feelings are welcome!!! I really hate the fact that infertility has turned me completely bitter/sour/mad ect. I don't want to have to put on a brave face every time someone tells me they are pregnant.
~Reason I bring this up is DH's best friend has been married for a year less then us and just announced that they are 12weeks pregnant. Total shot to the heart! Every single friend DH grew up with has had a baby except for him! I totally feel guilty like its my fault he isn't a dad! :( Ugh-I hate feeling like this!
Ok-end rant!! If you are still with me,you are the best! I'm sorry this was just a mess of a blog but I just had to get some stuff off of my chest and what better way than to announce we are starting another cycle! :)
So the last time I blogged, I just finished my first IUI cycle. Holy roller coaster that was! It totally drained us mentally,financially and physically(I gained 10lbs from that cycle-ugh!)...any hoot--since then I have been loving spending my days/nights at my friends house who just had triplet boys on August 17th! :) Talk about holy roller of emotions. I was SOO thrilled to be able to be there when she delivered(I work at the hospital on the mother/baby unit--I know shoot me now-lol). It was such an awesome experience to be able to stand outside the OR doors and listen to not 1 but 3 babies crying! I have never heard anything so beautiful! :) We were all so excited waiting for them to come out! Baby C( Jacob) had to be sent to the NICU-only to return within 27hours of being delivered! YAY!! Baby A(Drake) was 4lb 7oz...Baby B(Ross) was 5lb.0.5oz...Baby C(Jacob) was 4lb 8oz. Talk about the cutest babies I have ever seen! O I could have loved on them all day long! :) I have been spending all my nights that my husband works(he's a firefighter and works 24hour shifts) with them and let me tell you--I'm ready for multiples! :) I have been peed on,pooped on,spit up on-you name it I have probably had it on not 1,but 2 or 3 shirts of mine! LOL
I think I need to explain how my friend and I became friends because I think it is so special! Her husband and mine grew up together in the church. So they basically grew up together--they lost touch after they all went their separate ways because that church went to poops. Anyways, years later we still live like 20 minutes from each other. Well I was telling my friend S about the problems I was having with infertility and was complaining/moaning--you know the usual,Why Me?-blah,blah...and she suggest I talk to this girl she knows S(also named S). I was very worried at what S would think of a random stranger asking how she got pregnant and how this whole infertility thing works(I had no clue about this whole world of infertility--I seriously thought I was the only one with this problem!) Well 1 message on face.book led to another and we decided that since our DH's haven't seen each other in awhile that we should have dinner--we met at a local restaurant and the rest is history! We have become so close and I can't think of any other reason to explain our friendship but fate! Seriously we all just "click". They are so fun to be around.
I think one of the things that means the most to me is the fact they don't realize how much they are helping ME! I know that sounds crazy-I'm suppose to be helping them with 4 boys under 2 years of age,but in fact they are helping me cope with the fact that I'm not a mom yet. I know I am DYING to be a mother and hopefully one day my dream will come true! But no matter how many times I drive home only to cry myself to sleep or cry all the way home because I long for that love and those words"mommy" to be uttered,I know I love those babies and am enjoying every.minute.of taking care of them! Everyone says "Hey mommy Tristan" when I walk through because I treat them as my own! I love those boys SO much and am SO grateful to have S and W in my life--I don't think they will ever really understand how much they have helped me!
Ok--enough with the tears--lets get on with the reason for the title of this post...22..
22 marks 22 days until I get to start my next medicated IUI cycle!!! eeeeek! :) I couldn't be more happier! We realized that come October I had my 'open enrollement' for insurance at my job--only to really realize that the lesser of the 2 insurance plans my hospital offers actually pays for the IUI meds!! again...EEEEEEK! :)
SO--come Oct 1st (exactly 22days) I will officially be able to start my cycle.--please start praying now! :)
**On another note--I have been dealing with some sadness lately. I just want to know when the bitter/sad/hurt-ness goes away when someone close to you tells you they are pregnant?!Any and all advice/comments/feelings are welcome!!! I really hate the fact that infertility has turned me completely bitter/sour/mad ect. I don't want to have to put on a brave face every time someone tells me they are pregnant.
~Reason I bring this up is DH's best friend has been married for a year less then us and just announced that they are 12weeks pregnant. Total shot to the heart! Every single friend DH grew up with has had a baby except for him! I totally feel guilty like its my fault he isn't a dad! :( Ugh-I hate feeling like this!
Ok-end rant!! If you are still with me,you are the best! I'm sorry this was just a mess of a blog but I just had to get some stuff off of my chest and what better way than to announce we are starting another cycle! :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Infertility A-Z
A) Age when you started TTC: Me,23 Him,24
B) Baby Dancing or Sex: What's that? Sex to make a baby? That's crazy!
C) Children wanted: He wants 6--I want minimum 3(I want a huge family), but at the moment we're praying to just get prenant with one!
D) Dog/Cat/Fill in Children: We have 3 dogs: Ally (shnoodle) 6months, Bella(lap/shepherd mix) 3, Coal(maltipoo)3
E) Essential oils/ Vitamins/ Snail Oils: Nope--
F) Fertility meds I've taken: Clomid and Follistim
G) Gain: gained 10lbs this last IUI cycle! YUK!
H) HSG (Hystosalpingogram): Unfortunately yes. Tubes open but left one showed scar tissue!
I) Infertile Pet Peeves: The usual I'm sure.
J) Job title: Me:Unit Clerk on the mother/baby unit(i know,i know--shoot my now! lol),Him: Firefighter/Paramedic
K) Kids name you're afraid will be taken by the time you have kids: BOY:Mason Ray GIRL :Hayden Grace and Ava Brooke
L) Length of time TTC: 2 years
M) Miscarriages: yes :(
N) Number of times you've switched OB/GYN's, RE's: 4 times (went from GYN to OB/GYN then 2 RE's)
O) Ovarian quality: good they say...
P) POAS or wait for AF: POAS...but last time AF showed her ugly face before I could get my hands on one!
Q) Quote from an obnoxious fertile: "Dont worry...You dont have a problem(getting pregnant) until its been a year"...hmmm its been 2--now what?!!
S) Sperm: Rockstar sperm..in DH's words..."im off the charts!" haha
T) Time tried naturally: 1 year
U) Uterus: So far so good
V) Vagina: I'm a bit sick of getting dildo-cams and speculums shoved up it, truth be told.
W) What baby stuff do you have already: A copy of What to Expect that I bought when I was pregnant--and a closet filled with neutral baby clothes that is now shoved in a draw...had to get rid of it when I had my miscarriage. :(
X) X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey?: At first it was just DH and I...now I have been more open--I needed support from our families. So both sides-Immediate family only know. I have been open with the fact that Im having trouble TTC but not too many details.
Y) Yearly Exam. Yes. Which reminds me..lol
Z) Zits: No.Thank the Lord.
That was fun...I wanna hear yours! :) Comment with your A-Z!**also...where is the "R"?! hmmm-anyone know what the "r" would be?!
B) Baby Dancing or Sex: What's that? Sex to make a baby? That's crazy!
C) Children wanted: He wants 6--I want minimum 3(I want a huge family), but at the moment we're praying to just get prenant with one!
D) Dog/Cat/Fill in Children: We have 3 dogs: Ally (shnoodle) 6months, Bella(lap/shepherd mix) 3, Coal(maltipoo)3
E) Essential oils/ Vitamins/ Snail Oils: Nope--
F) Fertility meds I've taken: Clomid and Follistim
G) Gain: gained 10lbs this last IUI cycle! YUK!
H) HSG (Hystosalpingogram): Unfortunately yes. Tubes open but left one showed scar tissue!
I) Infertile Pet Peeves: The usual I'm sure.
J) Job title: Me:Unit Clerk on the mother/baby unit(i know,i know--shoot my now! lol),Him: Firefighter/Paramedic
K) Kids name you're afraid will be taken by the time you have kids: BOY:Mason Ray GIRL :Hayden Grace and Ava Brooke
L) Length of time TTC: 2 years
M) Miscarriages: yes :(
N) Number of times you've switched OB/GYN's, RE's: 4 times (went from GYN to OB/GYN then 2 RE's)
O) Ovarian quality: good they say...
P) POAS or wait for AF: POAS...but last time AF showed her ugly face before I could get my hands on one!
Q) Quote from a
S) Sperm: Rockstar sperm..in DH's words..."im off the charts!" haha
T) Time tried naturally: 1 year
U) Uterus: So far so good
V) Vagina: I'm a bit sick of getting dildo-cams and speculums shoved up it, truth be told.
W) What baby stuff do you have already: A copy of What to Expect that I bought when I was pregnant--and a closet filled with neutral baby clothes that is now shoved in a draw...had to get rid of it when I had my miscarriage. :(
X) X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey?: At first it was just DH and I...now I have been more open--I needed support from our families. So both sides-Immediate family only know. I have been open with the fact that Im having trouble TTC but not too many details.
Y) Yearly Exam. Yes. Which reminds me..lol
Z) Zits: No.Thank the Lord.
That was fun...I wanna hear yours! :) Comment with your A-Z!**also...where is the "R"?! hmmm-anyone know what the "r" would be?!
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